Bringing Ourselves Back
How does one maintain his or her own inner identity in the turmoil and power playing that come part and parcel with life in Ottawa? It’s a question that doesn’t normally come to mind but the recent attention of this issue raised by the recent Maclean’s article has prompted numerous responses from other members of parliament confessing to struggling with such realities.
Some expressed great love for their own spouses and families and yet felt the sharing of such sentiments seemed out of place in parliamentary circles. A couple of others voiced the desire to actually speak out about the lack of decency in the present House activities but worried of the fallout from their own party leadership.
What’s good about this is that well-meaning politicians are now at least expressing a collective desire to not just bring decency back into parliament but to also bring themselves back as well. They came into these hallowed walls over the years, brim full of ideals for public service, but have lost some of the initiative over time. The very fact that they have voiced such things brings on the possibility that some kind of change could in fact take place.
I have had to explain that I am more than the simple sum of all the elements of my background. Sure I’m a Liberal, and of course I am a man of a reserved religious faith. My family is terrific and the social causes I’m involved in give meaning to who I am. But the important qualities I bring to political life I have largely acquired and developed on my own. I possessed those qualities, acquired after years of hard work and at times failure, when I first came into parliament. They are in my possession and I refuse to sell them off if it means I can get noticed by my party or even by parliament as a whole.
I have traveled a lot and my familiarity with tragedy has produced in me both a desire to enjoy this world but to improve it at the same time. At times these two realities come into conflict. This is especially true in political life. I want to be part of a team, even be noticed for the contribution I can make. I would enjoy it. Yet the struggles I have witnessed have taught me that my life doesn’t count for much if I can’t stay consistent to my own beliefs.
Whenever that moment comes where I know that by behaving in a certain way that might be uncivil or uncaring I could achieve a certain political end, I am forced, by the sheer suffering that others endure around the world, to opt for being who I really am - their lives are more important than role playing. It’s a hard trade-off, yet in my struggling through it I have discovered other parliamentarians who have expressed similar inner conflicts.
This particular parliamentary session could reach for a higher level and perhaps find a certain modicum of success only when we permit that inner struggle within to find outward expression, even if it results in a certain political loss. In the end it’s a test of our political legitimacy and authenticity, and the experience of the last week has taught me that there are many in this place who serve for all the best reasons. However, it’s time for us to speak up. In failing to do so, we not only fail ourselves but all those whose witnessed struggle taught us to be caring individuals in the first place. It's time we showed up.