Thoughts On a Birthday and Nobility

Today I turn 61. Up through the night I pondered again that the majority of my years are behind me – the days ahead will inevitably diminish. I have had the fortune of living a remarkable life, both here and out in the vast world, and yet still something churns in me. I am not yet what I need to be. My failures and distractions have guaranteed that a certain unsettling will remain with me until it is overcome.Yesterday I read a blog post from a young man who delighted in the discovery that it was actually in enjoying the small things in his life that he found some happiness at last. The big things had overpowered him, placing expectations on his struggling soul, leaving him burdened in the process. Now he has learned to put the importance of such things aside somewhat in order to grasp the moment. I almost envied him.Almost.We’re all different and all find happiness in different ways. But to that pursuit we must always think big thoughts and consider our place in the larger world. As Martin Luther King Jr. put it:“Whatever career you may choose for yourself – doctor, lawyer, teacher – let me propose an avocation to be pursued along with it. Become a dedicated fighter for civil rights. Make it a central part of your life. It will make you a better doctor, a better lawyer, a better teacher. It will enrich your spirit as nothing else possibly can. It will give you that rare sense of nobility that can only spring from love and selflessly helping your fellow man. Make a career of humanity. Commit yourself to the noble struggle for human rights. You will make a greater person of yourself, a greater nation of your country and a finer world to live in.”God, I love such language. I want to be noble like that, and though I’m not there yet, I can’t possibly imagine discovering true happiness as long as people are in slavery, facing hunger, or living in want. You’re the same, I bet. All the great people we admire – Muhammad, Jesus, the Dalai Lama, Vaclav Havel, our men and women in uniform, Mandela, etal – specifically inspire us because of their ability to elevate us beyond ourselves with their life stories and their speeches.I believe we all want to be noble, but obligations come with that pursuit which reach far beyond our personal circles. Being noble comes with being troubled, or as Theodore Roethke said it, “What is madness but nobility of soul, at odds with circumstance?”That’s why the Occupy movement, or those struggling to help our First Nations people are yet in our conscience – some terrific Canadians just can’t let go of the fact that equity is important, that opportunity for betterment should be the lot of every citizen, and that our world, and our place in it, will never be truly just until we throw in our own portion of nobility.Ask any mother if she can be truly content if her children are suffering in poverty – it’s impossible. The moment she gave birth, she became one of nobility’s greatest creatures and she will forever struggle until her children walk an open road to fulfillment.After 61 birthdays I’m still not fully content. How can I be when my country loses its greatness, people who diligently work can’t make an adequate wage for living, or when the natural environment continues to have the death rattle in its cough? I must achieve happiness in the personal matters of life where I can, but I can never be fully at peace as long as my sister can’t escape oppression, or my brother can’t overcome the systemic roadblocks in his way for success.I am a person of faith, more familiar than it is formal. It has brought strength to my soul and humility to my spirit. But it is also true that the key founders of the great faiths never contented themselves with being born in a manger or abiding happily in some desert cave. They struggled for others and in that great pursuit they became noble without realizing it. That is why faith has become important to me – its very historical calling puts me in the place of service to others.I don’t want to be better than other people, and indeed I am not. But to the degree that I can be better than I used to be will be when nobility falls within my grasp. I am a Canadian and that automatically brings big thoughts. I’m a father of seven children that I honestly think of every hour of the day. I have a wife that I knew was ten times greater than me when I watched her rescue slaves in Sudan and inspired my own belief in humanity. The company of some terrific friends, some of them new, has brought me joy and commitment. But they are not enough. The cries of hunger or the chains of oppression still form a backdrop in my life and I want to spend the few years I have left in addressing those injustices. I’m no leader, but as long as I work with these special people around me to better my world, I will discover humility and nobility in the same effort. I am part of a human family and not just a personal one. I just want my remaining years to make a difference in both, and that forms my ultimate prayer to God.