Voyage of the Damned

I've only been home from Ottawa for two days and had my ears filled with complaints about the $1 billion price tag for the joint G8/G20 summits.  There were so many suggestions as to what could be done with that kind of money that I could tell people have thought long and hard about it. Occasionally I was asked: "Can't you do something about it?" The direct answer is "no." We were initially informed in the House that costs would run around $200 million, but that was before the government realized it couldn't house the G20 in Muskoka. In light of their question about what could be done, I do have an idea, however. Fanciful though it may be, it would have been a much better investment.I phoned a friend at Princess Cruise Lines and asked him how much it would cost to rent a luxury cruise liner for five days. Naturally thinking I had been caged up in Ottawa too long, he finally acknowledged I was serious and said he'd get back to me. It turns out that one of their ships - the Star Princess - can hold up to almost 2,000 people. It costs around $1 million per day to run such a floating palace. Extrapolating those figures, my friend estimated the cost would run something around $80-100 million for five days - a lot, but nothing compared to a comparative $1 billion price tag.This could have been the final farewell cruise for the dilapidated G8, complete with bands, floorshows, booze galore and a ride into the metaphorically beautiful sunset. The serious stuff would be there as well: conference tables, medical facilities, Internet, state-of-the-art communication facilities, Powerpoint technology, microphones, etc. Plenty of room for support staff would be available. And then there are those security costs. What would they be on the ocean? Government spokespersons have told us that security makes up the majority of the $1 billion dollar bill; surely the price of providing protection at sea would be a fraction of that, while showing off our navy.And where would they go? Bahamas? New York? Around Newfoundland and Labrador? I've got a better idea. How about Latitude: 45° 29' 55" N; Longitude: 73° 34' 12"? They could spend a full day circling around the region of the gulf oil spill and having to be reminded that the consequences of their inactions will inevitably lead to disastrous results. Words like Kyoto and Copenhagen would take on new meaning. The Canadian delegation, along with the Americans, would come face-to-face with the realities of their climate change denial and be forced to deal with other delegations light years ahead of us.The five day cruise would end in the Gulf and the delegations could catch their flights from there. Along with their sumptuous food and no doubt serious dialogues would be the lingering memory of international promises unkept, death of a shrimp industry, the ruination of an entire coastline, and the impending doom that could originate from a lack of action. Now that would be a G8/G20 that would be worth something - and a bargain as well.NB: The money saved from the Toronto portion could be used to fully provide protection for the Nortel employees who just lost millions. Or fund a plan to save the fisheries. Or locate the 500 aboriginal women who have gone missing. Or end child poverty. Or finally help the world's poorest rather than cutting CIDA. Or ... doesn't matter, you get the picture.